i jhust puked up my retainher.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
vagina is talking i cant
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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