sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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