I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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