Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
