You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
