Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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