Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
