his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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