Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Terrible idea I love it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
