Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
