I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
