she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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