it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize