I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
