I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
