is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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