she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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