sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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