i need an iv and a liver transplant
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
