my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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