i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
