I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
