Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
