the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
