I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
