Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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