I don't think brook has ever known best
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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