I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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