Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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