I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
