yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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