YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
