I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
