how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
