i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize