no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
