I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
BRING THE BAGELS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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