I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
