remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
