I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize