Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
