Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
