worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
