I'm going to jail i love you
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
