I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
