CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize