we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
