i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
