you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So vagazzling was a success
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
