fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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