how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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