I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
