Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
