mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
