I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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