this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
