69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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