My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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