I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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