So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
