Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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