I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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