No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
