I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
