rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He passed out mid-signature
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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