I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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